Maybe I haven't told y'all that I've been searching for God everywhere. I've looked in empty soap dishes, between the lint of my tightest pants, in the dark corners of my closet that are still living in 1997. I've looked damn near everywhere and it seems to me that the only time I feel at peace, like He's looking directly at me is when I look up in the sky and see images like this.
I've watched the sky burn oil to the canvas of clouds and I've seen the clouds dance around one another like gypsies roaming unclaimed land. I've seen darkness in shades Crayola forgot to mention like grace, poise, tragedy and faith. And while we're talking about faith, I've jumped deep into mine like the first time I learned to swim in Nevis waters. Jumped into it and felt the water slap and soothe my face simultaneously. The water, much like my faith felt good enough to drown in, but yet and still compelled me to swim to the top.
It is a crazy thing to feel duality in one body, well it may not be crazy, but it feels that way. And while I'm trying to find a balance between feeling empty spiritually and full of thoughts mentally, I guess a part of balance is understanding that sometimes it will escape you.
I haven't figured out all the kinks yet and I don't know if God is going to pencil me in this week, but I've learned this: I'm not brilliant at all, I'm just extraordinarily human and somewhere in all of that, there is divinity…which is to say that maybe I have to stop searching for God and understand that He never left.
1 comment:
Awesome picture!
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