Thursday, June 23, 2011

i'm in rare form

Q. said...

So...I struggle with what to day in response to this post. I feel a GRAVE disconnect btwn us since you have left. (You the one person that i spoke to EVERY and I mean EVERY day for almost 2 years). Ummm, I have been reading and commenting and laughing and crying to many of your posts. How ever its not the same. I feel like when you left you took a piece of me with you. We expressed to each other how we have influenced the others life and how much we meant to each other and now that's gone. Maybe this isn't the place to disclose this info but I feel that this is the only way to reach you. I have pulled back from commenting one because you don't respond and 2 because I feel like the promises made before your move were not kept. I realized I have been doing some of the nut azz stuff we (Leo's) hated for others to do and that had to end. I miss you and I miss having you here but I feel like you have forgotten about me completely.
That brings me to the blog. The one thing it does for me is keep me in the loop about you and your life without me and for that I am grateful. I absolutely love the blog one because as we have always said our lives are reality not the TV shows proclaiming to be...(LOL that was a good line...write that down). You may not choose to post this and if you don't that's fine but know that I love and miss you and feel like sometimes we (Leos) Have to set our Leo traits aside and remember where we came from. PS. I'm crying at work and you know how I hate that.

my response:  long overdue. but i love you. and saying i love is a cop out of all sorts that it encompasses the very beauty and appreciation of our relationship.  sitting next to you for what turned into years changed my life.  we're in two different places now but i still carry your voice with me. i take your guidance and your tough love with me into the unknown every morning.  i could never forget about you because a part of me has become you.  it's such a strange feeling when friends become family. i can't remember a life without you and now because space is between us, please don't mistake that for us being distant.  i still trust you with my life, my heart, my soul and my bag.  i would still do anything for you and that includes dying.  i think this blog became a conversation between us.  i usually write in the mornings, where i would usually be sitting right next to you begging for advice of some kind.  this blog is me reaching out to you.  these are all the things that you told me to write, to document whether it was to hear how crazy i sounded or whether it was to realize how much i'm changing, growing and loving.  this wouldn't be possible without you.  there is no me without you and there won't be.  that's the promise that cannot be broken.  love you.

1 comment:

Q. said...

thank you. Simply put.