Don't Get Swept

During the playoffs last year, I stated the following:

At this level of professionalism, NO TEAM should be getting swept.  If you made it to the playoffs, I doubt there was a time in the regular season in which you lost four games back to back.  Do NOT start now.  You didn’t get here by getting swept.  DO NOT GET SWEPT.

I’m not a sports fanatic but I love sports and I’m a girl, which should be no big deal but society still thinks girls are not paying attention.  Newsflash, some of us are.  Some of us actually do know the starting lineup, the bench and top draft picks for whichever league we’re interested in.  I happen to keep abreast of what’s going on in basketball, football and baseball.  In fact, sports topics are great analogies for relationships.  [In my opinion anyway]  Today, we’re talking about getting swept in the playoffs, which should NEVER happen.

Of course there are tons of factors that could throw a team’s game off.  Travel, injury, short resting periods, personal issues, team compatibility, weather, location, the list goes on and on.   But I don’t think there’s anything that makes me angrier than watching a team that had the ability to make it to the playoffs, get swept.  I really get angry. 

Same thing with you men and women…

You mean to tell me that you’ve been doing consistently well over the season of your relationship and when another team comes to town, you suddenly forget how to play offense and defense? GET YOUR LIFE.  Now I know some of you go by the motto, “if you can take her/him, you can keep her/him.”  In some cases, this is true.  If your partner walks away when just anybody comes along singing in their ear, then let them go.  They clearly have more issues than you need to accept.  However, let’s face the fact, some people are going to “holla” at your partner and given certain circumstances, they may be in a very good position to get closer than just anybody.  To be quite honest, their game may be so subtle that your partner doesn’t even know that the clock has started.  Here’s where the problem comes in.  Let’s call the opposing team, Mike/Mel for clarity’s sake.  Where were you when Mike/Mel was being thoughtful and picked up your partner’s favorite snack at lunch?  Where were you when Mike/Mel remembered to send a ‘Good Luck’ text on the day your partner was scheduled to take the GMAT?  Where were you your partner needed a ride home and Mike/Mel were oh so accommodating?  Please tell me where you were when Mike/Mel were actively remembering the little things and doing the thoughtful things?

I’ll tell you where you weren’t.  You weren’t with me shooting in the gym!  I hate to get ignorant but for real though. Before you say, why is Mike/Mel this close to my partner anyway, relax and think for a second.  Mike/Mel could be a coworker, a mutual friend, or in any other position where being the enemy is not so abundantly clear.  Mike/Mel could very well be chilling in the friend zone with some not so friendly thoughts.  In all actuality, Mike/Mel may not ever actually cross the line to the point where the threat is noticed by you or even your partner, but the reality is that Mike/Mel is doing something you’re not and they’re doing it consistently.   What happens next?  Mike/Mel become so consistent that they become the norm.  So now, when your partner is having a bad day and everybody goes to happy hour, guess who they’re sitting next to?  When your partner is sitting on the couch watching a funny movie, guess who pops into their mind?  When your partner actually picks up the phone to see how your day is and you don’t answer, guess who’s the next number in the outgoing calls?

Where were you?  There’s a number of factors that could have been the cause of your absence or lacking performance.  Like I said earlier - travel, injury, short resting periods, personal issues, team compatibility, weather, location, the list goes on and on. 

BUT…and this is a big BUT…you are in the playoffs/relationship for a reason.  Despite all of those factors, you are supposed to perform, every night, every game, whether there are two thousand people in the stands or just Mike/Mel watching from their vantage point.  You came here to win and maybe you won’t win the title, but when you’re playing, that’s not on your mind.  Catch a foul, slam the backboard, hit the ground hard but GET UP. As long as the clock is on, sweat, bleed, cry, scream but KEEP PLAYING.  DO NOT GET SWEPT.  NO GROWN MAN OR WOMAN SHOULD BE GETTING SWEPT AT THIS LEVEL. It is your job to win! With this kind of sex, love, investment and title on the line, you better not let anyone sweep you.  You worked for this, you deserve this, it’s yours and Mike/Mel should know what they’re up against.  Think of Mike/Mel as the wild cards, yeah sometimes they do win and we all have to catch L’s, but the most poignant fact is that you if you must leave the court/relationship empty handed, leave with dignity and grace.  Know that you played a good game and gave it your all.  Getting swept doesn’t give you that peace, nor should it.

There’s no point in getting to the playoffs if you’re not going to perform.  There’s no point in being in a relationship if you’re not going to perform.  There will be off days, weeks, months even, but that’s not an excuse.  Someone trusts you to show up and do your best and there’s always someone who is banking on the fact that you won’t show up at all.  Sometimes losing your partner isn’t a sign that they don’t love you, sometimes it just means that when they showed up to the gym to practice, the face they saw cheering them on wasn’t yours.

Good luck everyone and welcome to the championship of your lives.