here are some tweets that embarrass everything i'm trying to stand for as a Christian...the moral high ground less traveled...
@t_lloyd: spandex, flyaways and a headband. they might send me back to DR tonight. [this is known as the Santo Domingo uniform by the ever so intelligent @tori_ah. she keeps me up to date on international standards and practices]
@t_lloyd: A grown man pet @ms_she's hair last night. I know it's luxurious and all but Negro please. @tiffthomp told me to spare him.
@t_lloyd: Then she had one shoe on in the club. I said, But Wait. The next thing I know @ms_she pulled flats out her bra. Word to my stretchmarks. [if you didn't know, i'm completely self conscious but only about my torso. stretchmarks are not a game! if i can't grow my next child in a body other than my own, it might not happen for me]
@t_lloyd: Then @ms_she had two cups talkin about cocoloso and cran/vodka taste good together. Needless to say, it was a done deal.
@t_lloyd: Some questionable songs played, "I gotta donk" [I tapped out] "drop it low" "single ladies," @ms_she did full performances for more cups.
@t_lloyd: So @ms_she washed her hair in the club. Against my advice of course. harlem n.ggas started throwing $. They liked that she was WAVY #rican [dead ass]
@t_lloyd: N.ggas came out of VIP to dance with us. Everybody flashed an engagement ring or a miniature copy of their diploma. #boybye [this is not to say that women with husbands and degrees are too stuck up to dance in the club, this means that just because you're a star on your block doesn't mean we care. the husbands and the degrees are just additional deterrents]
@t_lloyd: We bought her 2 shots of goose. @ms_she drinks them then asks what it was. She screams "u know Goose gets u loose!" b.tch#wenoticed [diddy chose the right one, i secretly hope he chooses @ms_she as a walking advertisement. drink responsibly folks]
@t_lloyd: Then my favorite song in honor of @manuelmphresh came on. BLACK AND YELLOW. I poured out a little henny 4him. Then a b.tch slipped #myfault? [@manuelmphresh is honestly my 2011 bff...love you long time!]
@t_lloyd: Whisper song played. @ms_she asks @tiffthomp "u wanna play w/ my pantylines?" Tiff declines. @ms_she goes "ok just checkin" continues to sip [i don't wear thongs so i was completely enthused that @ms_she had pantylines to begin with]
@t_lloyd: If some1 spills a drink on ur hair, it doesn't matter if it's moet or Whatever's clever. What matters is this press I have. Look ma, no perm! [@ms_she got her hair done on tuesday and her was DONE on thursday. i revived her strands only for them to politely wither away the night after. she partied like a rockstar]
@t_lloyd: It was all fun and games till sh.t got real. so u just gonna throw a drink my n.gga? Say no more. [that was the true thought process]
@t_lloyd: Next thing I know 15 of us LEAN all up in the VIP ready to slap the new cast of HARLEM WORLD with their own bottles. Security looked scared. [the only thing i can say is this: we were going to f.ck the club up!]
@t_lloyd: so sincere tho “@TiffThomp: WAIT! lol @T_lloyd do u remember tellin @Ms_She this "bitch you have a 401K why the fuck are you picking up these harlem ass Dollar bills!
@t_lloyd: LMFAO “@Cohen10552: If we ever go out for @Ms_She b-day again....I'm putting some bread in my purse. I got tired of her asking me for some lol.”
@t_lloyd: Morals of the story: dont hit the dougie in a one strap dress unless of course that's what you're into. [@vina_love gives dougie lessons if you need them. i did]
@t_lloyd: Moral #2: attractive women with husbands, fiancees, b/fs, diplomas & 401ks can still be from the gutter meaning u can get ur ass whooped. [it is what it is on that one]
@t_lloyd: Moral #3 camera phones are everywhere. @ms_she can NEVER get famous without us getting paid too. #gotcha b.tch [i'm trying to have a cameo on VH1 driven]
@t_lloyd: Moral #4. We are officially too old for this sh.t. Catch us next time tearing up a nursing home near you! =)
For those who enjoyed...
“@TurnMyMicUp: BEST RECAP EVER RT @T_Lloyd: lol I apologize for the documented f.ckery “@i_heartLa: @T_Lloyd Literally laughing out loud over here! #icant”
“@Ms_Niney2U: This recap from @T_Lloyd is absolutely hilarious”
@t_lloyd: Finally somebody understands lol “@prototype_love: Ahahhahahaah I'm dying at @T_Lloyd and @TiffThomp they're so rude but mean no harm lol”
featuring @ms_she and @aamiragarba
this recap was brought to you by the effects of cocoloso and working a nine to five.
2 comments:
Omg, It's 7:40 in da AM to early for me to be laughing this loud my recap for my birthday weekend coming up may sound like that well .....Nah I gotta teenager let me act accordingly Aaaah Nah its going down next weekend.
That was hilarious!
Where do I start...401K Ha.
SHOES OUT THE BRA....Cake topper.
Vanilla you look like you was given the kisses away...Dont make me slap you.
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