Inconsolable

I can be inconsolable at times
Blinded by my own fury that jokes feel like undercuts and love feels like a joke
I wish I knew better
Kinda wish I could coast through my feelings with a warm hand nestled in the small of my back
But being touched while I'm afraid only scares me more
How damaged must you be to prefer staying that way?
Like I said, I can be inconsolable at times
With a warm smile set on fire
Spilling ashes onto the lips of everyone we come into contact with
I want to be on your flesh
I want your skin to be inscribed with my memories like braille to the fingertips of a child who can't see in image but rather in conceptual holiness
I mean, I can be inconsolable at times
Leaving my worries at the altar otherwise known as the foot of my bed
Sending my prayers to heaven otherwise known as my shower head
Looking for my God otherwise known as my own soul
I never asked for a rib but I should have
I may need that one extra layer for my heart to pound under
My flesh, my humanity makes me inconsolable at times