gentlemen.

this time around, it's easier.

there are no fairytales and no glass slippers

there's only lies, justice and some really good sex

but tonight is not about six months of happiness or even two years of potential

tonight is about the lifelong journey women take to find peace

there are many extenuating factors that could shake the core of a woman

however, a real woman knows that everything that shakes does not have to break

have i cried? yeah

have i moped around the house in fuzzy slippers eating girl scout cookies? yep

have i even managed to lose sight of self in the mirror behind day old mascara? probably

but tonight is about regaining what we feel we lost in a whirlwind we didn't know we were standing in

people know when tornadoes are coming and when hurricanes will find their way over rooftops and grassy slopes

but there is no forecast for broken dreams

and even though things may come as a shock, please remember that shocks are what bring you back to life.

CLEAR.

i have to say that i had so much fun

i laughed till the sun came up, i watched movies i never heard of and i debated topics important to everyone but me

i travelled, made Love until the sun came up and went back down again

i grew something out of nothing

and i'm proud of myself

i loved someone they said was unloveable

i loved someone who didn't know the meaning of the word, taught it to him and had him spell it out using the letters of my name

i challenged him to be the good man his father wasn't

i challenged him to live with me instead of dying alone

i shared my soul with him because he didn't have one

and it was giving pieces of myself away that I AM MADE WHOLE

i was pregnant with his lies, gave birth to his truth and buried his chances

i am tattooed on his skin so his reflection are only tears of my spirit

and he is tattooed on mine as my greatest act of charity

so i will walk with him to forever and he will carry me there

no passports necessary because it's our world

and just when you thought this was dedicated to getting deep

it's not

because he wants a fraction of a woman and i am not a part to a bigger whole,

hell, he's the one missing his rib

and no i was not made in his likeness because chastity and infidelity can never be friends, never mind lovers

he won't listen to me when i tell him

"if he can't respect someone's union, who will respect his?" or when i tell him,

"how you got her is how you'll lose her"

he needs to find out for himself that whores are incapable of loving anyone because they don't know how to love themselves

but he thinks pictures in hearts mean you have one

as they walk down this yellow brick road of polygamy, my blood is on his hands and my blues sing through her moans

even speaking these words, the raw truth hits me while he hits her raw

but i'm too blessed to worry about the colors of their painting

she will never be me

simply a shadow of womanhood

a little girl in big woman panties

and i know you think she's sucks a good d.ck

but baby that's because she's had practice

maybe she'll take you to the championship seeing as everyone has had a chance to bat

and i hope the ring is worth it because everything comes full circle

just to be on the shallow sh.t

i ain't never let another n.gga hit and when i said it was yours

i meant it, especially when on all fours

and i gave u a chance to be a man and keep it real

but what n.gga could resist a b.tch on her knees?

u chose to be monogamous, u chose to put your tongue on this

but now u out here with her mouth on her lips but really another man's d.ck

and it makes so much sense that two people who lie

should also lie together

in the bed they made

in the relationships they could not save

you once told me, i'm the female version of you

well i guess that explains why i f.cked him too...

ha ha ... n.gga i did no such thing

i kept it real, from the beginning

all up to the end, i was really telling the truth when i said that n.gga was just my friend

either way, she's not as cute as me and she's clearly dumb

but f.ck it, right as long as u come...

lol..

i love you though

you imperfect, lying, can't keep it real because it feels so wrong to a n.gga that can't see true love, even if it sat on his face and lived in his place...

you light skinned with a dark past, that couldn't even make forever last, you who thinks that deleting pictures means there aren't a thousand words that you couldn't say,

because Madden isn't the only game you play, you who I f.cked in my expensive heels, all for a n.gga who can't even express how he really feels, you who thought i was only bad in the good way in bed, but forgot not only do i give it, but i have a good head, you motherf.cker cuz i have a child but not a son of b.tch cuz not even your mother is responsible for this...

i love you though, through all this but you're a bad boy and I AM THE BADDEST BITCH.