oh Nikki. without the Minaj.

Nikki Giovanni is phenomenal. That's the simplest way I can put that.

She said "Everyone has sad stories." She even has "THUG LIFE" tattooed on her arm.

I haven't really made the time to sit down and write about the impact she had when I saw her live so here goes.

she told me to edit. in an older post, i said i don't edit. that's how i felt when i wrote it and i rarely go back to make changes. but Nikki told me to edit. she told me to go back when i learned something new. maybe it is my duty to update my truth.

i learned the following:

he's not the wrong guy, it's the wrong time. and i'm still mad as sh.t. even though it was the wrong time, that doesn't mean i wasted time but it's time i want back.

i just need one more day. i find myself pleading with God for two more hours, one more phone call, one more vacation, one more blunt to smoke my fears away and make Love in a haze. i find myself wanting the sand that slipped through my fingers. not everyday but most days.

i should not be afraid to date, but i am. i'm tired of leaving pieces of myself with incomplete people. i'm tired of sweeping up the broken glass of vases that once held the typical 'i'm sorry' roses. i'm tired of changing my relationship status from single to semi-taken to monogamous to scorned and then back to forgiving. and there are no options when the other person has options.

i'm tired of walking away instead of walking toward something that lasts so i can finally sit the hell down. and yes i wanna sit the hell down with my head on someone's chest and know that his heart beats solely for me and well him too, just long enough to keep him alive to love me for one more day.

i'm just saying. i think it's ok to want, be disappointed and want more anyway.

consider my life 'edited'