responsibility.

i had every intention of loving you for a lifetime 

and i did

until the girl in me died trying to make a woman out of the pieces you so casually left behind

i'm kinda feeling myself now

meaning i'm no longer numb to the reality of the pain you caused

i got a new haircut, moved out of our apartment and finally admitted to the landlord that my boyfriend won't be helping me lift these heavy boxes

at least they're half as empty as when we brought them in

i walk down the stairs and i look back to ask you if you have the keys

only to realize that you're not there and neither are the keys

so now i'm locked out of a home i don't even wanna be in

sitting on the steps too proud to call you for the spare and feeling like one instead

your spare girlfriend and your spare home and your spare love affair

i feel like the backup plan without a plan

strangers walk by me sitting there like i'm irresponsible for getting locked out

i'm not irresponsible

i mailed the bills out, i washed the dishes, i cooked, i cleaned, i woke you up on time, i remembered to pass you your wallet, your towel and your basketball sneakers

i am responsible

even though i locked myself out of our home, well... what was our home

and you are responsible for that all by yourself

but me i am responsible too.

shattered. heartbroken. but responsible for loving someone who thought it was easier to love someone else

i had every intention of loving you for a lifetime

too bad, the phrase 'life is short' never crossed my mind.