is sex the ultimate goal??

between  man and a woman, is the whole getting to know each other, talking on the phone at unusual hours in the night and going to eat foods that you already love like it's the first time you're having them for the specific purpose of sex??  now that was a run on sentence, but is it the verbal equivalent to dating? you go through all those loops to end up at sex?   and if the purpose is sex, why?  you can have great sex with way more people than you can have great love with.  so is the trade off worth it? all the conversation and courting for sex? are we putting our energy into the wrong things? 

and what happens when you finally have the sex? in addition to the conversation and time spent, what if the sex completes the entire picture and you end up liking this person? which wouldn't be a problem if you didn't jump in bed expecting JUST sex. or what if the sex happens and you realize there's not enough conversation in the world to make it better? all your hard work went down the drain with a failed orgasm and dry sheets?  

a friend of mine told me years ago, he stopped asking girls, 'what do you want' and he stopped answering that question when they asked him.  in all of my youth, i couldn't understand why.  that seemed like a very appropriate question so nobody ends up in a situation they don't want or have no intentions of fulfilling. but he made a good point.  he said, we don't know what we want.  he started talking to this girl with absolutely no intention past sex and he ended up liking her.  if she would have asked him what he wanted, he would have told her just sex and it probably would have scared her off, seeing that she wasn't that type of girl but because he was open minded with what the universe had to offer, he found a girl that was worth it.  she made him want a relationship.  she made him want to work harder.  she made him want things he couldn't imagine. 

so maybe we shouldn't interact with people with a specific purpose in mind.  maybe we're pigeonholing them.  maybe if we come in with just our wants, we may end up missing out on something we need.  maybe we can't put a limit onto what another person can give to us. maybe him/her has a higher purpose for our lives than just sex. maybe they're meant to teach us a lesson, make us fall in love, forget a past love, maybe their purpose is something bigger than we can comprehend, label or expect.  

sometimes we do just want sex, but let's try to understand that sometimes life brings us just a little bit more than that.