when's the last time you called a black woman BEAUTIFUL?

i have amazing men in my life that never let me forget that they think i'm a beautiful person inside and out. (thanks guys) whether i'm just waking up, running errands or getting ready for the ball, they have always reminded me of that little precious fact.  and because i appreciate it so much especially because they have a tendency to say it when i'm feeling anything BUT beautiful, i realize i don't hear compliments from other men to other women often.  


i asked a friend the other day, when's the last time he called a black woman beautiful and he almost couldn't remember.  now, i specifically said black women because i've noticed that black men have taken a liking, even an infatuation with non-black women.  they do not hide the fact that they think these women are 'exotic,' better behaved and works of art.  but when it comes to black women, women much like the ones raising them, it feels (and this is my perspective) that we have become the 'unappreciated default.'  now let me just say, there is NO ONE MORE EXOTIC THAN A BLACK WOMAN.  mothering mankind is the sexiest thing that's ever been done on this planet and whether we asked for the responsibility or not, it's ours and therefore it is our achievement.  so OWN THAT. and if u can't find anything beautiful about a black woman, well then there's your starting point.  and to women that classify themselves as 'other,' let me inform you, you came from our wombs, your ass is black too, but somewhere along the line it became cool to be something else, to associate with something else, so now we stand like mothers to embarrassed teenagers waiting to pick you up from school.  but no matter how ashamed you are or no matter how much you deny us, in the end we are always there to pick you up.  we are the blueprint and you cannot cook, look and behave like the blueprint without understanding that HISTORY NEVER STARTED AT SECOND PLACE.


now back to the topic, i just had to get that off my growing chest, (i told y'all i'm getting thick) why are some black men hesitant to call black women beautiful?  he said, that sometimes when you give a woman a compliment, she thinks that he's trying to get with her.  it can never just be a compliment.  now i agree.  some women are so accustomed to receiving compliments that everything feels like an attempt to get at their panties.  


ladies, stop it right now. stop it right this minute. first of all, humble yourself and appreciate that someone is coming out of their comfort zone and is having the courage to approach you about being beautiful.  the first thing out of your mouth should be thank you.  whether you hear it a hundred times a day or only once, you are supposed to be polite.  that's the most beautiful thing about a woman if you ask me. now if and when he tries to get your number, handle the situation as you see fit, however there is absolutely no reason that you believe you are ever TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE POLITE. get over yourself. beauty fades. you may not have that face tomorrow.  but saying thank you to a gentleman is a product of your character and that's the only thing whose beauty you have control over.  your genes gave you those looks, don't get ahead of yourself.


now, i understand that it does get tiring when people are constantly referring to your looks.  i feel like when i walk down the street, i should just hold up a sign that says thank you because these men just have to say something but regardless i believe in manners.  do i think every guy that gives me a compliment is trying to get with me? no.  but i do believe that my reaction might spark enough interest for him to believe that not only am i pretty but i'm actually a nice girl, the type of girl he wants to sleep with get to know.  but you can decline in those cases.  'no thanks i already have a man and his name is Jesus' or just no thanks.  it's not always easy but someone taught me a long time ago "never lose your character for someone who doesn't have any." 


i digress. it's just strange and heartbreaking to me that young black men and women are so disconnected considering we're being raised in the same households.  it actually breaks my heart to know that the same black men i cherish and long for honestly believe that i'm a regular, run of the mill, just in case option.  and to add insult to injury, other men of other races generally love their own women and want to be with them.  asian men love asian women, indian men love indian women, white men love white women and spanish men, well damn they love their spanish women.  there's always exceptions but overall, i've noticed black men date outside the race more than any other race which would be fine if they didn't give off the idea that their own race was somehow 'less than.' 


love is love. i get it. i have no desire to tell you who to date and who to love, but black women are beautiful and we deserve to be reminded, especially from the men that know and can empathize with our struggle.  


to the black men, when the whole world turned their back on you and made you america's number one enemy, we still loved you. when they beat you, we cry for you, when they kill you, we still live for you, when they treat you like animals, we still raise your sons like kings and your daughters like queens, when they don't feed you, we give you what's on our plate, when they crucify you, we are at the bottom of your cross kissing your feet.  don't you ever forget some trees bear different fruits that you might want to try, but what is easily attained is quickly forgotten.  you can pluck any fruit, but you can never SHAKE THE ROOTS!