"the good thing about human nature is that is not exclusive to the entire human race. it's that human's nature. what's good for the goose is not always good for the gander." -someone i know well.
as personal as this blog is i still feel like i can be very vague on here. mostly because, the devil is in the details. i'm all about the bigger picture so even though writers are supposed to cover the who, what, when, where, why and how, i can usually do without the exact who, when and where. there's really no need for specifics. heartbreak feels the same for most of us so it doesn't really matter if i give him a name and confusion feels the same so he doesn't need a name either. here's my struggle. whenever i write about something, i take complete ownership of it, even if it has nothing to do with me. if i talk about cheating boyfriends, i'll get the side eye like "is she talking about so and so?" though i've learned how to deal with it and i understand that it's just part of the territory, the truth is, y'all have to consider how that makes so and so feel.
what if there is someone in my life? (i know i said i'm single but that doesn't mean there isn't someone who wants to change that) do you know how frustrating that must be to be the assumed villain in every one of these posts? it's disheartening, especially if you're a good guy. so let me just be candid here. i'm not dealing with a bad guy at all. i'm dealing with my own experiences and learning how to redefine them into something that works for me. the only main character here is me. the day i settle down and i'm in a relationship will be a day just for me and the other person. i probably won't even write about it but that day isn't today.
there's already a very thin line to balance with being personal and being specific. it's like having to paint a picture with only three colors when you know you need seven. nonetheless, i show up here still painting dealing with all the consequences behind the scenes. but to me, the experiences and the lessons are so important that the recoil of possibly offending a former lover/friend seems to be well worth it. this is the journey and you'll meet plenty of people along the way, some will be similar and some will be different but they will all be important. i don't know how they would feel if they read these posts and discovered that their scent lingers all over these words but i hope that none of them is so self centered to think they're the only ones worthy enough to make a difference in my life. those are the breaks. i'm just saying, never date a writer. they'll write about the good things, the bad things or they might kill you off at the end of the chapter.
what i really came on here to say though has everything to do with the quote at the top of the page. it takes an insane amount of every and concentration to learn another human being. we can be such unique creatures that you really have to study a person to get to know them. i think that's the tricky thing about relationships. even though you pay attention to the things you're attracted to, you still have to pay attention to the things you're not. that person is a complete entity and if you care about them, everything matters. it's tough though because even when you like 85% of things you see, your eyes tend to focus on the 15% of the things you don't like. i urge you to recognize the ratio of good to bad and i want to understand and behave like i know that no one is perfect. that 15% will always be there and although you don't have to tolerate it, just take the time to understand if it's worth losing the 85% of things you already adore. its' a complete package. you win some and you lose some, but please recognize when you've won.
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