Tuesday, November 30, 2010

honesty is so damn crafty

"you are not t lloyd with him, you're [insert real name here]. you're just mad that you met one of the few people that actually made you feel something." -spoken like a true homegirl

i hate when she reminds me that i'm human.

can you separate your friendship from your relationship?  how much can your guy tell you without your heart interrupting the conversation?  i personally think it's good when two people can maintain their friendship throughout their relationship.  they, whoever they is, say that 'friends make the best lovers' and there is truth to that. but how much is too much?

"babe, this girl is hitting on me."
your heart starts to beat a little faster.
"she's waiting at my car."
your head starts to pound.
"she's sexy as hell but i don't wanna beat."
your eyes are rolling in the back of head to stall the inevitable tears.
"babe i'll call you back."
call homegirl immediately.

once your homegirl gets you to admit that this young gentleman has you open, the only thing left to do is comfort you. but first, she must ask the question - DO YOU TRUST HIM? and you hesitate, not because you don't trust him but rather because if he calls back admitting the sexy girl was even sexier naked, you don't want to regret trusting him in the first place.  your homegirl lets you know she's waiting for an answer and since the conversation is about trust, you decide to trust her enough to be vulnerable.

"YES, I TRUST HIM."
"so you don't trust the little sexy scallywag waiting for him."
"i certainly do not.  i mean, i just know how EASY it is. one drink becomes two, two becomes three and the next thing you know, you're having sex. furthermore, there are girls and guys running around not caring about anybody's relationship, like 'you're my little secret' type sh.t, no b.tch, i'll tell you what's not a secret - AIDS, keep off of him, but you can't say that. why? because you want him to make his own decisions. you don't want him to sleep with her because he's happy sleeping with you, not because you had to tell him not to."
"don't act like you haven't been the other woman now."
"girl. how can i forget. the sh.t haunts me like a bad hairstyle.  i swear it must be my karma.  you know when you've seen a guy cheat on his girl? it doesn't take much at all. all i did was walk into the room, sh.t now i think of it, there wasn't any alcohol involved so can you imagine?  honestly, the thought that they're having sex right now while we're having this conversation grosses me the hell out."
"i just wanna know what that n.gga be drinking. i've seen him, he's a good size.  you know how much he has to drink to lose his mind and his pants? b.tch, either he doesn't have a liver or he's drinking straight moonshine. ask him for me because at the end of this week, i'm gonna need to forget some sh.t myself."
"don't make me laugh! but you're right. that man can drink. he's jamaican."
"oh no. see you didn't tell me that. as a matter of fact, anytime i got my panties in a bunch, it was over a jamaican. them foreign n.ggas will get you every time."
"does that even count if i'm foreign too?"
"i've seen n.ggas go crazy over you so yea, it counts."
sucks teeth. "i should have seen this coming."
"you did. we were just talking about this earlier today and YOU said, there comes a time in every relationship where one person shows their ass. you just didn't know tonight was the night."
"who are you telling? i jinxed myself. and then he had the nerve to say that she's sexy but i'm gorgeous. i don't even know what that means."
"yes you do ms. i study people.  men think of sexy in terms of appeal, it's purely physical, but gorgeous? that's something different.  that's inside and out, that's emotional. which one would you rather be? sexy or gorgeous?"
"i'll take gorgeous for 200."
"exactly. when he calls, just be honest. tell him how you feel. being able to bounce back and forth between your friendship and your relationship was cool and all but somewhere y'all crossed the line. whether you like to admit it or not, there's a relationship there. WE ARE friends. you and him? that's more than that. pick which one you prefer."

SMH.

the problem with telling someone how you feel is that you first have to admit you feel something.  admitting the good things is always easy. i kinda like you. i enjoy your company. i'm attracted to you.  all of that is easier to say than 'i was sad because i thought you forgot how gorgeous i was when you were staring at her sexy.'

i think men sometimes forget that big women were still little girls once upon time and no matter how gorgeous we are, we still have insecurities.  and it's not even that we're intimidated by 'sexy' girls, we're more concerned about girls that are WILLING. i'm just saying, stupidity is contagious and i want him as far away from her ass as possible.

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