have i ever told y'all that it's very hard for me to like a guy? once i know you and we're friends, then it's not that hard but if i'm just meeting you with no prior history, getting me to like you is like making me drink water…NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, unless my mother's giving me the evil eye. my friends tell me all the time, you're texting him, you like him. UM NO. it takes way more than some text messages to accomplish that. in fact, if he stopped texting me tomorrow, i would be perfectly fine with that. but someone i like? you text/call/email/gchat/skype/facetime me every day and then you don't? nah playa. i'm gonna pout my bottom lip and convince myself that maybe you're just busy to stop myself from driving myself insane with reasons as to why you may not like me anymore.
first of all, i think liking someone takes an insane amount of concentration and vulnerability. wait, before i continue, let me say this, i do NOT use the term "LIKE" loosely. i've never been boy crazy so liking someone means something to me. i don't know what it means to you, but liking someone means i see something in you and if you act right, i'll want something for US. i digress. you have to really pay attention to someone to like them. do you know their favorite food? what's their mama name? you still think he's cute without a haircut? you'll cook for him, that's cute but will he cook for you? what are his flaws? are they tolerable? do you like the words that come out of his mouth? furthermore, do those words make sense? what are his goals in life? if one of them is owning a chicken shack, are you willing to help him season some drumsticks? maybe i think too much but i hate the feeling of liking someone so i like to get it right if i do and i like to know that the person is worth it.
now can i entertain and flirt with someone i don't like? yes. it's called practice. don't think for a second that your charm is just going to get better with age. if you don't use it, you'll lose it. if you want to be good at anything, whether it's conversation or cooking, you have to practice. and why do i practice? because one day there's going to be a guy that's going to take my breath away and whenever i catch my breath, i better have something to say that doesn't include a stutter. it's so crazy to me that people won't have a conversation with someone they're not interested in from jump. how the hell will you know if you're interested if you don't speak? there's a lot of attractive people, so there's needs to be something that distinguishes them from one another and that's usually conversation. so i talk. if you approach me respectfully, we can have a conversation. we can flirt, get to know a little bit about each other and if by the end of that, if i feel like i want to know more, we can exchange numbers. if i don't, i'll see you at the next event and maybe we can try again. no love lost.
and for those of you in relationships or wondering why people in relationships still flirt, it's practice. just so long as they don't cross the line into infidelity. let's say i have a boyfriend, i still flirt with his ass. i gotta keep him on his toes. so if i flirt with a guy at a happy hour, i might pick up a new technique that might make him (him, my fake boyfriend) smile when i get home. no matter how comfortable you are in your situation, there's always room for improvement. sometimes your partner wants to know if they still got 'it.' if he (he being my imaginary boyfriend) wants to flirt with a random girl at a bar just to make sure that i'm not the ONLY girl in the world that wants him, go ahead. if she can bag him, then she can have him because that might mean he wasn't meant for me or that he had one too many patron shots. i don't think there's any harm in entertaining people and entertaining yourself. i also don't think there's anything wrong with liking someone. i just think we need to dig a little deeper before we do. i want something to be unique and one of a kind, before i find myself liking you. i'm not looking for a spark, i'm just looking for something that separates you from the herd and you have this conversation to show me what that is…
happy hunting.
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