pillow talk

i don't know if you follow me on twitter and i don't know if you should or shouldn't but i went on a rant.  it wasn't from an angry place or anything like that, just a few thoughts that were lingering around in my head - one of them being pillow talk.  i tweeted, "pillow talk is confidential. non- negotiable.  if a man can't trust you to keep your mouth closed, he won't trust your legs to do the same."  i have absolutely no idea what was going through my mind when i said that but i do believe pillow talk is confidential.  i think some things are sacred and you don't have to be on a physical pillow either.  but ask yourself, how much of your conversations with your significant other actually stay between you and your significant other?  now i know, we often tell our friends bits and pieces of our relationship to seek their advice or to just vent BUT and that's a big BUT, how much is too much?  where do you draw the line of 'this is just between us?'  


me, personally, i keep a lot of secrets.  i don't even know why because everything isn't a damn secret but that's just how i've always been. 'never use four words when you can use two.'  so it's rare that i offer up extra information if any information at all.  but even still, i'm guilty of replaying our conversations to listening ears to get some insight but in the middle of my rant, i realized and also tweeted, 'no one knows your partner better than you though so it's pointless to ask someone else to translate his thoughts.'  i know a person who takes out all the guessing games.  he says, 'pay attention, this is what i'm feeling.'  i genuinely appreciate the heads up because sometimes, when you think back to a conversation, what you deem important wasn't the important part to the person you're having a conversation with.  so sometimes, you end up trying to find a solution to a problem they're not even worried about.  


why are we taking our pillow talk out of the bedroom?  why are we letting other people into relationships they cannot save?  you're venting but what did you solve?  why don't we vent to the person we're with in hopes to fix it as opposed to just venting ?  i mean, we all need our space from our relationships to reflect and to take some time to see it from the other person's perspective with a mind clear of anger, resentment and frustration.  and even though that time is sometimes hard to take because you don't want it to seem like you're taking a vacation from your responsibilities, it is necessary.  the thing is, there are sacred moments in your relationship, sometimes they're simple, sometimes they're not but if you don't have anything that you're ok with sharing to JUST them, then should you be dating JUST them?  what do you two have that's only for the two of you, besides sex?