i want to rip the walls down so they never whisper your name to my pillows trying to convince my dreams that you're still a part of them
i want my ears to forget what your i love you sounds like and i want them to regurgitate the possibility of you being worth something worth taking risks for
i want to take my sex back and make all of our conversations virgin again
because maybe then, the loss wouldn't be so bloody
i want to crumble our text messages underneath my feet so i can stomp all over my words before you have the chance
and i want to stop crying because you can't even swim in the oceans i've made of my own tears
i want to watch our movie and pause at the parts where i should have kept my mouth shut, the parts where your hands touched places i let you own and especially at the parts where i needed subtitles to read your mind
but maybe this is me just being angry
me just being wounded at the mere idea that i'm human enough to bleed
human enough to think outside of myself and therefore having lent my innermost thoughts to someone who would never return them
maybe this is me being bitter at the very thought of how sweet your lips taste
nevertheless i can want what i want, i can recall what i need
and i can try to make sense out of a man i don't even know anymore
because i am human, scientifically enamored by other human beings and one of the few mammals who have no natural predators
at least until i met you
you, who taught me that in this wilderness, not all of us are beasts
some of us are only meant to feed them...
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