the numbers are in!

Hi there! You know how i'm always saying thank you for reading?  You never really get to see why so I decided to do a screen shot to really show you your hard work and I'm not being sarcastic either.  I thank each and every one of you for taking the time out of your life, time that you won't get back to read my ramblings.  I require a lot from you.  There are stories, poems, challenges, sad times, happy times, indescribable times all over this blog and i really appreciate you sticking with me for the ride.  Now the picture is a little small but you can click it to really get a look at the numbers.  But before we get into that, let me tell you what you DON'T see.  

Last month, you guys visited this blog 5, 348 times!!!! 

You broke your own record, sometimes I forget you're paying attention.  You must have really liked the post "TELL HER" because it received 119 page views, which means some of you specifically went to that post to read it, on top of the people who read it on the main page so THANK YOU! 

Oh and to the people that promote this page on their websites or their Facebook, thank you! This blog tracks every link that people use to get here so I see you and I appreciate you for spreading my little messages further into the world wide web.

Now, what's funny is that I don't check the numbers very often.  It feels like too much pressure to know who's reading, when they're reading, where they're reading, what they're reading and how they're reading this, but sometimes the audience needs love too.  

How does it feel now that the spotlight is on you?  

It's funny because a lot of you don't comment on the blog.  You'll email me, text me, call me or tweet me but you don't do it here for some reason so I added these little boxes on the bottom of each post that are easier than typing up a comment and waiting for me to check it and post it.  See? I'm accommodating.  I understand though because I have so many blogs that I don't physically 'follow' so no love lost.  

I see you're reading and that's the most important part!

Now to whoever is reading in France, South Africa, the United Kingdom, Germany, Canada, Brazil, the Netherlands, India and Malaysia, thank you!

Of course, I didn't forget all of you tuning in from the United States but I just wanted to point out that our feelings, our meaning YOU and I are universal.  We're not alone.  We are very human and we are having a shared experience.  That's just a reminder though because sometimes it's so easy to feel all alone, even on a planet with 6 billion people.

Now, Windows users beat the Mac users by 4% but let me just say this for the record, 

"I'm from the apple which means I'm MAC!"  

Come on over to the dark side folks, our stock is going up and I know you want to be a part of the movement.  Just kidding! not really.

It really doesn't matter as long as your computer works enough for you to come visit me, I'm happy.  But you ladies and gentleman are reading from your computers, your phones, your iPods and your iPads and I think that's amazing.  I'm really ecstatic that you find ways to fit me into your day.  It's not often that you get to hear me write in a conversational format but I am indeed a real human being the last time Sallie Mae  I checked.  

See! There I am!

And since we're having a conversation I might as well answer a few questions and say a few things.  

When it comes to what inspires me, you do.  

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to write when I wake up in the morning or before I go to bed at night but interacting with people never lets me down.  You might be saying, "but when do we interact?" On twitter silly!

No but really, if I don't see you in real life, I'm probably chatting it up with you on twitter or at the very least I'm reading what you're saying and I like the view from where I'm sitting.  You have a way of thinking that I usually admire and I don't think like you.  In fact, I don't think like any of you now that I think about it, (@ms_she says I have a rare mind & a few other people have told me that as well. I'm starting to believe it) so I really listen to what you're saying and I really try to figure out how you got there because I'm genuinely interested.

When I listen to you speak or tweet, it's like visiting another country for the first time.  I feel like I'm trespassing and writing is my version of explaining myself for wandering into your thoughts.  

::waves to you::  Thank you for having me. 

Now, when you talk to me, that's like us sitting at the dinner table.  I'm giving you just as much of myself as you're giving to me.  We are breaking bread so to speak (all pun intended).

As far as what you're reading, everything is true in the sense that these things are happening in the world.  As far as the characters, they are simply variables.  It's not just one person doing all the damage, there's no bitterness towards anyone who has done damage and no I am not exempt from having done damage myself.  There is no blame game.  When I recall a story of a broken heart, people tend to concentrate on the ending like "Damn, I wonder who did that to her" or "Damn, who hurt you?"  But please don't miss the part about how I loved him dearly or how much he might have taught me about myself.  

There's WAY more good than bad and I'm eternally grateful for that.

For the men in my life, past and present, I have a sincere gratitude for you.  Lovers make great stories and my craft would be almost nothing without you.  I can't imagine how weird/hard/frustrating it must be to read about yourself from MY perspective so shout out to you.  But for people wondering, every experience you share with someone is half yours and half theirs and it is completely up to them what they do with their half.  I choose to write about mine and I'm glad that they give me the freedom and the leeway to do it.

These situations, these stories, these poems, these rants are ALL true.  Whether they happened to me or not, well that's a different story.  You're going to have to read the book to find out.  

Speaking of the book,  I'm still working on it!  

I actually have two titles already prepared.  Contrary to popular belief, I have no idea what the ending will be even though I'm writing it.  I will be just as surprised as you.  It's hard though, I won't lie to you.  It's a very deep place I have to sink myself into to write the way I want the book to be read, so I really try to find the space to do so.  It doesn't happen often though.  I'm hoping for the book to be completely done in a year and the next step is to take on the publishing world and I have no idea how long or short that will take.  

So, if you have any extra time, or a literary agent in your back pocket, wish me luck or pray for me to whichever deity you believe in that will also believe in me.  

And for the record, it's not that I don't think my own friends don't read the blog, it's just that I don't expect you to and I certainly don't take it for granted.  My friends just don't realize that even after all this time, they still amaze me.  Duh!

Anyway, to all of you, I just want to really reiterate how thankful I am for you visiting my blog and watching my craft develop.  I started this blog in 2009 as a homework assignment and it blossomed into something I don't know if I want to live without.  I am constantly in awe of its growing success and your interest.  My parents don't even read anything I write so I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I love you for this.

I just have one question…who visited the blog from your Playstation? 

LOL that's hilarious. 

Thanks!