very. i'm not gonna lie to you. when my hair and my nails are to my liking, i feel better and in turn perform better. i don't know or care if it looks good to you but it HAS to look good to me. i just feel like i was blessed with what i already have, the least i can do is maintain it. would u have a car that you don't wash? or a cat you don't feed? no. (and shaking my head to those of you who said yes to those questions. what you own is a product of who you are so wash the car and feed the damn cat). anyway. i'll admit that i have regal taste. i want the best and i always have. when i was younger and my family went out to a restaurant, you could order hamburgers if you want to, but me, i needed the lobster. i was born to win. i'm just saying. and why not?
a part of me feels that if i surround myself with the best then i can be the best because ultimately we are reflections of our surroundings. this is not to say i haven't had my fair share of ugly. let's not forget i grew up in the south bronx. i know ugly. but i do not have to settle for it. even with the background of dilapidated buildings and drug addicts, my clothes were always neatly pressed and so was my hair. thank you mommy. and when i got older, my father always told me to 'dress for the position i want, not the one i have.' so since i want to be in a position of financial, spiritual and physical excellence, that's what i need to look like. hair done, nails done, everything did. it is not a game.
i don't want you thinking i don't have bad days either. i do. and i have plenty of them. but i've noticed that when i let my appearance fall to the wayside, my performance is next to go. i need to feel good to do better. and maybe that's just me but at least i know how the formula goes if success is the solution.
when my daughter was first born, there'd be moments where i couldn't remember if i took a shower or if i ate. one late night/early morning, i fell asleep at the kitchen table with a bottle on the stove. my mother had to wake me up and when i did, i felt so terrible i just started bawling those crocodile tears that are anything but sexy. i don't even know why i was crying. maybe it was because i was exhausted either from having a newborn or not recognizing myself. it was then that i decided, if i have to take care of anyone else, i must take care of myself as well. to this day, i get ready before my daughter. just so she knows the expectations i have. if mommy brushes her teeth, does her hair and puts on her clothes, then guess what munchkin? you're gonna do the same thing. do i want her to be superficial? do i want her to be shallow? no, not at all. i want her to be the best person she can be and it's hard to be the best when everything about you screams mediocrity.
all in all, i believe that we, as human beings do what we feel. there's a saying, 'hurt people hurt people.' and in most cases, it's true. so i think it's safe to presume that if you're feeling good, you'll do good. and we all know that the world needs all the good it can get.
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