adultery isn't very adult-like

"this is so wrong but it feels right."


for the sake of the argument we're about to have, 'mistress' will be a woman you are having a sexual/intimate relationship in addition to the relationship you're having with your girlfriend whom you assumed the responsibility of being monogamous.  i'm not going to talk about the kind of mistress who will f.ck your man just because she can. i'm talking about the mistress your man has a full blown relationship with.


i know a guy, well i know a few guys that have carried on two relationships simultaneously with a main chick and a side joint but sometimes the side joint is much more.  not a side joint like a jump off either.  side joint like he had feelings for both women.  he said he was torn between the two.  he cared about both of them and the only reason he was in a relationship is because one of them asked for it.  she didn't do anything spectacular, she wasn't prettier, she didn't cook better, she simply asked for what she wanted.  and he obliged only to find himself caught between two pairs of legs.  the amazing part about this story is that he managed to fulfill the duties in both relationships.  how is that even possible? where did he find the time? one of the best lessons my friend Beth taught me is that "some girls require much less."  so maybe she didn't require him to be there when she was sick or maybe she didn't mind text messages instead of phone calls or vice versa, either way both women were fulfilled.  the mistress believed he was torn and so did his friends and so did her friends. the two of them had an undeniable chemistry, in bed and in general.  watching them interact, everyone would ask "why aren't they together?" even she asked sometimes but she never wanted him to leave his girlfriend for her in fear that karma would come looking for her. if he wanted to leave his girlfriend, he would have to leave on his own terms, not hers.  he got himself into this mess and he would have to find a way out.  so the mistress stayed in this dysfunctional relationship for three years, battling with him and herself about why it was so hard to leave a man that wasn't even hers.  she loved him, probably more than he loved his girlfriend.  so in her mind, any piece of him was better than none. plus he was just as distraught as she was about their situation so they got through the pain together falling asleep in each other's arms only to watch him leave in the middle of the night outside of her window. every time he pulled off, he broke her heart a little more each time.  the point is that the day finally came where she found an answer to her question. "why can't they be together?" because he chose his girlfriend and no other reason matters.


he chose someone else to be his girlfriend, not you the mistress.  the minute she realized that him feeling torn was a dislike for the complication and not an admission of guilt, the floodgates opened.  though we have rules to live by in relationships, love is a different beast. there are no rules in love, you cannot decide how much you're going to love someone and you can't decide when, where and how you're going to do it.  the only thing you can decide is when you're going to walk away.  but sometimes, in the matters of affairs, we're too busy loving to realize the other person walked away first.