beautiful and i'm not sure if i'm talking about the scenery or myself. |
who's we? danielle or @danigirlbx, whichever you'd prefer and little old me. we set our degrees and our egos aside to sign up for a job we had no idea or inkling about. for all we could have known, we could have been building shoes from scratch. lucky for us the labor laws are still very much in tact. the entire experience was a journey in itself. about forty five minutes outside the Bronx, we were simply two city girls surrounded by more trees than people. so what could we do? take pictures, build memories and document the time of our lives.
we were a long way from home or what felt like home once upon a time. leaving at seventeen years old and returning at twenty four had done things to us that we couldn't ignore. we were no longer bound nor impressed by the city limits. we wanted more. we wanted to feel something else besides pavement and catholic school uniforms, so we drove. we drove that car into unchartered territory. first stop? working a job, not to pay the bills or to build a resume but rather just to see if we like it.
comfortable clothes, an oil change, a new air filter, a tank of gas and double stuffed oreos made for a worthwhile trip. even though we were supposed to be going to work, we ended up watching the work God does instead. we went through a lot of miles and words talking about where we had been and where we were destined to go. every conversation is a painting when the colors blend just right.
i feel like i never get a break. i keep meeting one great guy after another and it feels like it's my civic duty to keep trying.
you have to give yourself a break. you have to decide that you want one.
when i think about him though, the only break i'm concerned about is heartbreak.
even though some people have a passion for each other right away, for others, sh.t for most people, it grows. and the only way to know something grew is to gauge the distance between when you started and where you end up. but the fun part is what it takes to get there.
on a scale of one to ten, i like him at about a 6.
what? you can't rate matters of the heart.
who said anything about my heart? i was talking about my mind and my vagina. my heart is just conveniently placed in between.
when you even think about him your face lights up.
yeah, that's what he said.
girl, that's what he did.
when you're not ready to wake up, even the beauty of sunshine can be blinding. i'm just happy to be out of the house. my spirit tends to suffocate between walls of people. there's something about being outside that makes me appreciate what's going on inside. blame it on me being a summer baby, but i can't help but bloom under its majesty.
i'm taking my talents elsewhere. i tried it with you for a few years. i enjoyed it. i loved it even but my goals and our achievements aren't one and the same for whatever reason. where i've started doesn't have to be where i end up. no love lost, just reassigned.
my mother always says, "why do you have so many shoes? you only have two feet!" that makes absolutely no sense to me but then again my mother and i are two different women. here's why. in her mind, you can only wear but so many shoes because you only have two feet. [we're not gonna talk about how my mother's shoe collection is WAY more than the stack in this picture. please excuse her hypocrisy in order to value the lesson she's trying to teach me] in my mind, shoes are like men. we can try different ones, even if we only have two feet and one heart. but for a woman who's only been with my dad, her ideology makes sense. she doesn't need options or variety, because she's already found the one guy she needs which is equivalent to the one pair of shoes we're going to pretend she has, for the sake of the story. but me? i go through stilettos and boyfriends. maybe later my mother's theory will make sense. maybe i'll only need one pair of shoes for one guy and i'll wear those shoes to meet him at the altar.
i believe those are God's fingerprints.
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