day 25 challenge

now i can catch up to how i feel about my friends now that i've started on my relationships in a descending [descending having no bearing on priority] order.

my friends are my emergency contacts.  they are the seams that keep my stitching tight. they are the ones that listen to words i haven't spoken and read stories i haven't written yet.  i have pulled them into my life as individual, functioning parts that work to keep me whole.  i know that without them, i would be dead. there's no doubt in my mind.  no matter how we feel about suicide, the reality is that a lot of people face it every day and i'm no different.  but then i think, who will tell @danigirlbx how great her pictures are or who will snuggle with @melz_621, etc...there's too many of them to keep going.  the point is that because i feel like i owe them my life, my responsibilities to them keep me going.  i know you're probably saying, who would contemplate suicide when you have a child but honestly, mothers are no exception to grief.  just because i've thought about suicide doesn't mean i'm considering it.  i thought about dying [no pun intended] my bang blue but i have no intention of doing it, so don't get your knickers in a bunch. God spare life, i'll blog every day if it means you'll know i'm still alive. needless to say, my friends are my angels on earth.  they are the people that remember every allergy, every entry, every weird and quirky thing about me when they don't have to.  they recognize that i am not perfect and they love me in ways that inspire me to at least do better.  they are the most intimate parts of me and their happiness could bring me to tears if ever threatened and my friends know that crying is not my thing.

i could write all day about my friends who are really favors God granted me.  the easiest way to describe how i feel about them though is this: i'm in love.