dialogue

an intimate conversation with someone i haven't been intimate with...

him: you're tough tass, i like that
me: lol, i try
him: do you plan on settling or rather wait that out?
me: settle? ha. i think not. the funny thing is i think i'm meant to date a person who fits me at that particular time which means i'll probably have 3 or 4 great loves, one for each phase of my life.  so i'll wait.
him: LOL i love that, what phase you in now?
me: i'm in the fearless phase. the part where i have enough experience to be cautious but not too afraid to try someone out and if i don't like them in the morning, i can leave
him: interesting, i like this conversation, i'm learning from you
me: mutual
him: what is it you look for in a man?
me: three things: belief in a higher being (cuz he cannot believe that humanity is the end all, be all), humor (i'm a silly girl from the south Bronx, seen the world, saw too much pain so he has to make me laugh and lastly he has to have his own dreams/aspirations. (so when we go to sleep, i can wake up next to someone i'm proud of)
him: totally feel you, looking for the same thing
me: i'm gonna keep quiet on that

now there was more to this conversation but this part goes along with the point i'm trying to make. sometimes, it is quite possible to never know what you want if you've never asked yourself or someone's never asked you. i had absolutely no idea i was looking for those things until i said that's what i'm looking for. and i'm sure i haven't always been looking for those things, judging on some of my past experiences and affairs, but needless to say, your desires/needs are like a blog/diary. update! update! update! edit! edit! edit! things change. people change. [i'm still up in the air about that one] so maybe not,  but things do. go over the things that you need/want every once in a while just to ensure that your behavior align themselves with the results you're looking for.

oh and why did i decide to keep quiet? [which i ended up retracting later in the conversation anyway] because when two people are looking for the same things, those two people end up looking at each other. you are playing with disaster and disaster likes to fall in love.