Thursday, July 29, 2010

reunited.

don't ask me why i was up or who i was even talking to.  the point is two things came out of this late night/early morning excursion. and one of them was this.

there was a boy and a girl.  he used to pull her pigtails and trip her in the schoolyard.  one day she finally punched him and they didn't speak for eight long years.  he got married and divorced. she got a car and crashed it.  they led separate lives.  unfortunately one of their teachers ended up passing away to which they both showed up at the funeral. amy (that's her name) looked up and saw james (that's his name) and immediately started laughing in the middle of the service.  she then excused herself and went outside to catch some fresh air.  shortly thereafter james came outside and tapped her on her shoulder.

she quickly turned around and blurted out "i'm sorry," in the middle of her giggles.
james said, "i'd be sorry too if i bust out laughing during a funeral."  amy quickly responded, "oh no. that's not why i'm sorry. i'm sorry about punching you those many years ago."  they both laughed.  and he apologized for bringing her to that point.  they agreed to get a cup of coffee after the funeral in which he admired how amy with the pigtails was now amy with curves and a smile that could give the sun competition.

as james sipped his coffee, amy admired the man he had become.  his broad shoulders and his facial hair was a long cry from the freckled boy who used to bother her.  the two sat across from one another nostalgic and yet amazed.

james asked amy what she had been doing with her time since she punched him square in the eye during recess.  the once shy and sweet amy had joined the army, married an army man, been deployed to war, lost that army man in that war and had returned home to find a sense of peace.  she came to the funeral because their teacher had been part of the best time in her life.  in order to reacquaint herself with who she was, it was only right to go back to where she came from.

when asked the same question, james was almost ashamed by what he had done.  he had found a good job after college and married his high school sweetheart.  he even had a set of twins with her but in his selfish haste to make money instead of love, their marriage ended in divorce.  here james was, divorced by his own selfish merit while amy's love was taken from her.  he could see the pain in her eyes and she could see the regret in his.

that night james had tickets to go to a baseball game.  he was going to invite this girl he'd been seeing for a couple of weeks but instead invites amy.  he wasn't ready to let her go just yet.  he asked her, hoping that a woman who could go to war could tolerate a baseball game.

"james, i hate baseball but if i go, you have to do something i like." he quickly agreed.  if it meant seeing her smile for just ten more seconds, he would do it.  he couldn't describe the feeling but he knew it was there.
"are you going to tell me what it is now or do i have to wait?" he asked her.
"you waited eight years, two more hours won't hurt," she replied.

they watched the game.  well, he watched the game.  she ate every snack that came down the aisle.  hot dogs, popcorn, candied apples.  you name it, she digested it.
"war give you an appetite like that?" james inquired.
she laughed between bites. "well when you can't eat, it certainly makes you want to."

as they got to her doorstep, he was anxious to find out what she would make him do.
"well james, i see you're itching with excitement about our next outing so i'll tell you like this.  be here tomorrow at 0900 hours.  not a minute after. don't bother calling. just be here. good night."
she was tough.  he should have known when she punched him but now he knew for sure.

amy climbed in bed that night nervous herself.  as she looked at her wedding ring on the table, she knew her husband would want her to be happy but she was still so sad.  tomorrow morning she would know how happy she could be and then being sad will be just another memory.

as promised james showed up at 0900 hours.
"do you want me to drive?" he asked.
"nope. you're stuck with a woman driver today. fasten your seat belt, " she smirked.
"be careful with me." he laughed nervously.
"if i can drive a tank, i can drive you. come on. we can't be late."

they drove and went over middle school memories for twenty five minutes until they reached their destination. it was an office building.  the beige walls were coved in paintings of nature.  positive quotes and affirmations hung on every door and everybody in the waiting room shared a sense of anxiety.  though the office they entered was soothing, it was also ambiguous giving no hints as to what they were there for.  amy walked right up to the desk where the receptionist greeted her.
"amy! today's the day. go right on through. she's waiting for you." she then looked at james. "you can follow her straight back dad."  he was confused.  how did she know he was a dad? maybe she assumed they were husband and wife. but neither of them had wedding rings.  and if she knew her by name, the wouldn't she know amy's husband had passed? still he quickly dismissed those thoughts. he had to follow amy.

a small woman who looked to be about their age hugged amy as soon as she made it around the corner.  they smiled and held a conversation that seemed to be between friends, not just two people meeting for an appointment.  the small woman turned to james. "hey! we'll be ready for you in a sec. i'll come out and get you. i'm sandra."
"i'm james," he said as he stuck out his hand, "nice to meet you."
"likewise" she replied.

as james sat waiting, he wondered where they could be.  no one had given him the slightest clue.  amy had always been good at keeping secrets.  that's probably why the army wanted her.  ten minutes passed and sandra returned from behind the oak door.  when james walked in, the room was quiet except for the whirring sound of the machine.  there amy lay on a table with her pants pulled down slightly and her shirt pulled up underneath her bra.  her bare skin had revealed a small bump.  you would never notice with her clothes. sh.t he didn't.  across her belly was a pink strap with a little circle.  the circle was making the whirring sound as it picked up the baby's heartbeat.  amy was pregnant. no wonder she ate the whole stadium out and no wonder she was so curvaceous.  and that's why the receptionist called him dad. james took a seat.  amy looked up to see his reaction with tears in her eyes.
"this is what i've been up to," she said.
"i know the feeling" he replied.  "do you know what you're having?"
"a boy. what are the odds?" she laughed.

as she got off the table and put her clothes back over the most subtle pregnancy, james had a million thoughts flowing through his mind.  when they finally made it outside, amy turned to him.
"this is my life. this is who i am now.  if you want to get to know me this is me. i don't need you to be his father, he had one and we lost him. but if i see what you're feeling correctly, then this is me. and if you want me, you have to want all of me. now that you know, i'm sure it's not easy, but it's as real as it's ever going to get." she exhaled glad to get that off her chest.  she knew he had been interested as was she.  but she couldn't risk having to choose between the life she lived and the life she wanted.  she would understand if he didn't want her.  after all, he already been divorced with two little girls.  he had enough on his plate.

james looked at amy and saw what his ex wife had desperately wanted him to see.  he saw something worth working for.  he saw someone that could be his equal and yet still something to aspire to.  he saw the little girl he loved standing in front of him as a woman he now barely knew.  he saw that amy had been what he couldn't be - selfless.  she had lost so much and was still giving more without being any less.  james exhaled.  he touched her face, sure that no one had touched her like that since her husband passed.  he kissed her something so reminiscent of the day he kissed his ex wife on their wedding day.  he kissed her from a place of love that he believed in that second would only get better with time.  when he opened his eyes and pulled his lips from hers, he whispered, "i always wanted a boy. let's go."

the end

what's fascinating is how i managed to type this on my iphone at 4 in the morning and it took me an hour to complete.  looking over it, there's so much more i could say in this story, but i wanted to give you the conversation as it came to me and the person reading - raw and uncut. maybe i'll go over it, maybe i won't, but the point remains the same.  maintain the integrity of the craft by letting it come to you so that you can give it to someone else in any way, shape or form and that includes text messaging.

2 comments:

Q. said...

Beginning of that novel...maybe the middle.

Dunni said...

Don't edit it; it's perfect.