i need a day to go over the last year

it's pouring rain and i'm up early for a different series of events, i'd rather not discuss. at least not yet.  i'm up doing something for someone i can't even decide if i love still. actually i know i love them. but what's love got to do with it?  it's that phase where you just know you moved on until a moment happens when you realize you didn't.  there's always a trigger, sometimes it's a birthday, a graduation or just bumping into one another on the street because the universe loves to make us feel awkward.  and the problem is not even if i've moved on because a HUGE chunk of me has, but [there's always a but] the little part of me that hasn't is like a mosquito bite. it is just begging for attention and it is an itch that i'm not so sure i don't want to scratch. anyway, i'm up doing this thing for that 'scratch' i just have to itch, which will probably only make it worse but once you've loved someone, you tell yourself it has to get worse, before it gets better.  they say the same thing for third degree burns and we all know those things hurt like HELL. so what do i do? torn between the loved and the love. actually i'm not torn at all. i'm disappointed.  disappointed that love can either be a great, big thing or a tiny thing but either way, that thing can change a whole lot of sh.t. and though you can feel something without acting, can you really act without feeling?